SMILE

A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
-- Author Unknown

REST

I WANT TO REST

I NEED A REST

I HAVE TO REST.

I HAVE BEEN WORKING SO MUCH THAT THE TWO WEEKS HOLIDAY WAS NOT A HOLIDAY AT ALL.

JUST LET ME REST PLEASE. STOP ASKING ME TO DO SO MANY THINGS THAT I FIND ARE BURDENING ME PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.

JUST BECAUSE I COMPLETE EVERY TASK GIVEN TO ME, THAT DOES'T MEAN I LIKE EVERYTHING.

FATHER

Many people around the world celebrate Father's Day today. I can't do that because my father is no more with me. I cannot tell him that I love him so much but I'd like to tell the world that HE was such a great father and I am who I am today because of his insight of sending me to an English School though he was only a padi farmer. He knew that being fluent in English would give me better opportunities in life. He took the trouble of sending me to school and later fetching me on his old bicycle in between his back-breaking tasks in the mud under the blazing hot sun and torrential rain. He paid my monthly school fees without any delay.He bought me all the books needed. He made sure I did not get more than the 10th placing in my class!

And here I am today, paying my debts to my father by teaching my students to be good in English. ,But then again, I can possibly never have enough to pay the debts of love and sacrifice of my late father; HAJI DAHMAN BIN AWANG. And I treasure the pride of having his name after the name he gave me.May Allah Bless my Father always. Al Fatihah.

Kelas GPMS

Hari ni sepatutnya ada kelas bimbingan anjuran Yayasan GPMS dari jam 3-4.30. Pukul 2.59 aku dah sampai kelas. Ada seorang pelajar saja.Aku pegi ofis buat announcement, ingatkan pelajar terlibat supaya masuk kelas tapi ada 2 orang saja yg datang. 3.30 aku balik. Pukul 3 ialah waktu prep. Kalau tak sedar yang kelas GPMS ada hari ni, waktu prep sepatutnya dah ada di sekolah bukan membuta di asrama.

Aku peduli apa!! Tak mau belajar, sudah...Bukan aku yang tak pandai English Language tapi korang. So if U think U are damn clever, where as U are damn stupid, why should I bother? Might as well be at home and rest my tired mind and body.

Fever

Down with fever.

But still go to school.

Heavy head heavy eyes.

Yet still go to class.

So,

when the students are not paying attention,

I believe I have the right to curse them and turn them into BMW325i.

Heartache....

From 7th -12th June I was in SM Teknik Kuantan for the national level tournament where technical school students and teachers alike spend almost the whole week of the school holidays doing many things for the schools. There were debate, football, netball, softball, sepaktakraw, rugby and inventions. There were 10 zones altogether: Sabah, Sarawak, Johor, Melaka-Negeri Sembilan, Selangor-Wilayah Persekutuan, Pahang, Kelantan-Terengganu, Perak, Pulau Pinang and Kedah -Perlis.

It was no fun to be in the dorm together with students, sharing awful bathrooms with them, became the victim of hundreds of mosquitoes,( I have hundreds of small red dots on my hands and face!!), eating badly cooked food in the dining hall, walking a long way to the ironing room in the next block because the one nearby is under lock and key and not even one power point to charge my cellphone. The dorm was quite dirty in fact!

For SM Teknik Melaka, this is the 7th outing for debate. We went to Penang in 2004, Gombak, Selangor in 2005, back to Melaka in 2006, off to Pasir Mas,Kelantan in 2007 (and became CHAMPION), Sungai Petani, Kedah in 2008 and Krian, Perak in 2009. We became the first runner-up at zone level in 2010, so a hiatus for one year and this year we start another journey to national level.

Managing and coaching the debaters for 11 years and competing at national level for 7 times, gives me such valuable experience. I get to meet new friends, make some new enemies as well. I get to go to many states yet still think my kampung up north is the best. And one thing I realised is that a few schools keep coming to the national level but with different coach/manager except for ME!!! I am always the one for my school.

When will someone from SMTM take over this task of coaching/managing the debaters? I am so exhausted of doing this for 11 years. I just want to lie low and enjoy doing nothing. I just want to stop coaching debaters!!

Are they taking advantage of me?Did I allow myself to be too kind? Just because I am a debater myself, is it mandatory that I must do this every year? Why can't they give me a break before I break my spine?

SURVIVE

Sunday 5th June 2011.

A cloudy Sunday...as cloudy as my mind! This debate training for the National Level is no joke when I have to juggle my time for other tasks as well. I have another 2 piles of Form 4 English 1119/2 to mark. I do not wish to carry that spiteful bundle to Kuantan. I can't carry anything heavy. That is the warning/reminder from the Orthopedic Specialist. My poor spine is not as good as it used to be. The worn out discs or lumbar is not getting any better. I have to rely on medication without any excuse. If that doesn't offer the comfort needed, then, I have to go a process where the doctor will inject a "liquid" (for God sake, whatever is the name!) to ease the tension between the lumbars.

If things get worse I have to go for operation to insert a screw in between the same lumbars that are having problems. Well, makes me feel like I am a wardrobe or something when the dear doctor mentioned the screw!!

But, if I don't have any other choice I will have to agree. Well, I am so used to living in situations that I don't have much choice, but with my faith in God Almighty and never-ending determination; I survived. And I will survive. That much I know.

30MAY2011

Isnin terakhir dgn anakanda Nurul Nabilah Hanis Aziz. Nanti malam akan meninggalkan tanahair, ibu bapa dan Kakak2; Nurul Fatehah dan Nurul Khalidah, Bubu si sugar glidernya, Nelli kereta Kelisanya dan semua yg dia sayang untuk mencari ilmu dan kepandaian di negara orang. Tuhanku, Engkau permudahkanlah segala urusan anakku. Engkau kurniakanlah segenap kesejahteraan untuknya. Aku serahkan dia dalam jagaanMU sentiasa, selama setahun mendatang sama seperti aku serahkan segalanya tentang hidupku selama ini.

Bagaikan kelmarin saja aku menghantarnya ke SK Batu Berendam. Seperti kelmarin saja aku menghantarnya saban hari ke Malacca Girls High School, pergi tuition Add Maths, pergi program Pelancongan Sekolah dan akhirnya menghantarnya ke Food Institute of Malaysia di Kelana Jaya untuk meraih Diploma in Culinary Arts yang sangat dikejarnya.

Renaissance Ross Bridge, Birmingham Alabama, kupinjamkan anakku selama setahun. Pulangkan dia kepadaku sebagai insan yang lebih bijaksana dalam menggapai cita-citanya.